Bill Maher Celeb Quotes, Celebrity Quotes, Celebrity Quotes, Celebrity Quotations, Inspirational Quotes
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Bill Maher Quotes / Quotations

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Apparently Bob Dole's new election strategy is to find a Republican policy so stupid, even Clinton won't copy it.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
Quotation of Bill Maher


George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.
Quotation of Bill Maher


I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
Quotation of Bill Maher


I mean, I think, Iraqis, I think, feel that if we drove smaller cars, maybe we wouldn't have to kill them for their oil.
Quotation of Bill Maher


I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
Quotation of Bill Maher


I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Quotation of Bill Maher


If you think you have it tough, read history books.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'
Quotation of Bill Maher


It's all been satirized for your protection.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Quotation of Bill Maher


Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Men are only as loyal as their options.
Quotation of Bill Maher


President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."
Quotation of Bill Maher


The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.
Quotation of Bill Maher


The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.
Quotation of Bill Maher


The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
Quotation of Bill Maher


The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
Quotation of Bill Maher


The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
Quotation of Bill Maher


The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain.
Quotation of Bill Maher


They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
Quotation of Bill Maher


This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
Quotation of Bill Maher


This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
Quotation of Bill Maher


To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.
Quotation of Bill Maher


We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.
Quotation of Bill Maher


We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
Quotation of Bill Maher


We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
Quotation of Bill Maher


We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Quotation of Bill Maher


What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.
Quotation of Bill Maher


When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window.
Quotation of Bill Maher


Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Quotation of Bill Maher


 
 
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Bill Maher Events

The Hollywood Reporter Big 10 Party at the Getty House

2011-02-24

HBO's Post 2011 Golden Globe Awards party held at Circa 55 at The Beverly Hilton Hotel - Arrivals

2011-01-16

HBO's 62nd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards afterparty held at the Pacific Design Center - Arrivals

2010-08-29

The 2010 Entertainment Weekly and Women In Film Pre-Emmy Party Sponsored by L'Oreal Paris held at The Sunset Marquis Hotel

2010-08-27

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