Jeff Foxworthy Celeb Quotes, Celebrity Quotes, Celebrity Quotes, Celebrity Quotations, Inspirational Quotes
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Jeff Foxworthy Quotes / Quotations

All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


As an actor, there was that freedom of not having to worry about lights or marks or other people. It was just going out there and having fun with the character.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I know God is real.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I really don't require a whole lot in life.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I think you have the wrong number.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I wasn't paying attention, what was wrong with me?
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I would give myself for the good of the team and go on right after Home Improvement. We're waiting on that.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


It seems like movies that have heart to them always do well, and they find their audience.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Most of the things I talk about work as well in Michigan or Idaho as they do in Alabama.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


No wonder we turned out like this.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


One in the morning, you have people waiting for a booth to open at a Waffle House.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


People like Kenny or Reba have been doing it so long that doing a show like this isn't even a challenge to them.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


The CMT folks, there was a genuine enthusiasm that I've never had in television before on the executive side.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


The first time I went in there to do the voice, I kind of had an idea in my head what he would be like. I read it that way and then they went away and filmed it.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


The thing about this that attracted me to the script was it had heart to it.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


There's no down time any more.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


This book is just a collection of my drawings. I never really showed them to anybody but my wife, and she always laughed at them.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


We finished taping for the first year. All 12 of the people watching did seem to enjoy the show.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


What a great place to be, where you can say, I'm flattered that you offered, but this other thing is more important.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


With a comic it's always, What do we have in common?
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


You don't have anything; you don't own anything.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
Quotation of Jeff Foxworthy


 
 
Jeff Foxworthy Events

'The Smurfs' world premiere at the Ziegfeld Theater - Arrivals

2011-07-24

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