Johnny Carson Celeb Quotes, Celebrity Quotes, Celebrity Quotes, Celebrity Quotations, Inspirational Quotes
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Johnny Carson Quotes / Quotations

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?"
Quotation of Johnny Carson


The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


We're more effective than birth control pills.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


When turkeys mate they think of swans.
Quotation of Johnny Carson


 
 
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