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Fred Allen Quotes / Quotations


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Fred Allen QUOTES / QUOTATIONS
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Quotation of Fred Allen
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Quotation of Fred Allen
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
Quotation of Fred Allen
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Quotation of Fred Allen
An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
Quotation of Fred Allen
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Quotation of Fred Allen
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
Quotation of Fred Allen
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
Quotation of Fred Allen
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy.
Quotation of Fred Allen
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Quotation of Fred Allen
It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first 6 days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Television is the triumph of machine over people.
Quotation of Fred Allen
The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
Quotation of Fred Allen
The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.
Quotation of Fred Allen
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Quotation of Fred Allen
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
Quotation of Fred Allen
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
Quotation of Fred Allen
The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
Quotation of Fred Allen
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
Quotation of Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Quotation of Fred Allen
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
Quotation of Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Quotation of Fred Allen