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Garrison Keillor Quotes / Quotations


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Garrison Keillor QUOTES / QUOTATIONS
A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
I want to resume the life of a shy person.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, 'Where are you from?' doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know?
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Quotation of Garrison Keillor