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Robert Benchley Quotes / Quotations


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Robert Benchley QUOTES / QUOTATIONS
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the moment.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Most of the arguments to which I am a party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
Quotation of Robert Benchley
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Quotation of Robert Benchley
You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.
Quotation of Robert Benchley